Da-da's Recalibrated Aging Classification System 3000

The Terrible Twos seem to echo forever. Even though Da-da's oldest is six, he seems perpetually two, especially when his four-year-old brother is within his incalculable event horizon. However, as the world has accelerated past the world and into a world of REDUNDANT ACCELERATION WORLDLINESS, Da-da has created a new stereotypical age classification system for the New Stereotypically Aging World Order. Hope this helps. We're all counting on you.

Da-da's Recalibrated Aging Classification System 3000

• Onceler Ones
• Terrible Twos
• Throw-uppy Threes
• Floppy Fours
• Friendly Fives
• Sedate Sixes
• Silly Sevens
• Eager Eights
• Nougie Nines
• Taller Tens
• Evolving Elevens
• Touchy Twelves
• Threatening Thirteens
• Fickle Fourteens
• Freakish Fifteens
• Squirrely Sixteens
• Suggestive Seventeens
• Enticing/Egomaniacal Eighteens
• Nowheresville Nineteens
• Tornado twenties
• Thoughtful Thirties
• Futile Forties
• Forgetful Fifties
• Seeming Sixties
• Slower Seventies
• Enduring Eighties
• Neverland Nineties
• Humble Hundreds
• Methusaleh Thousands (you wish).

Da-da wil be lucky to emerge from the Futile Forties.