5.8.11

Fearless Monster Hunters Review... THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

"Klaatu... Barata... oh, screw it. Take THAT, Industrial-Military-Complex!"
This week, in honor of the U.S. Government almost coming to a complete standstill because politicians are like the seagulls in, Finding Nemo that squawk, "MINE MINE MINE," and because the U.S. is one Happy Meal from Jumping the Shark, the Fearless Monster Hunters (FMHs) have turned their pre-steampunk goggles to the retro-future with, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL -- the original version from 1951, not the darker, more recent one which had an arguably better Gort and an equally arrogant, shark-jumped military, jeez, will someone stake the VAMPIRE that is this run-on sentence? [stake noise; death rattle.] Krikey. Most notably for the FMHs, there were no characters that smacked of Star Wars in any way in this feature, so the boys could untether themselves from the gynormous George Lucas brand-zeppelin franchise floating everywhere (which is not to say that Da-da doesn't like George, he does; George even knows Da-da, though not biblically -- that's a whole other blog). Onward!
Fearless Monster Hunters Review... THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Da-da: Ok, boys. Did this movie scare you at all?
Bronko(4YO)/Nagurski (6YO): [together] NO!

Da-da: What was the movie about?
Bronko: Gort!
Nagurski: A super robot that can disintegrate things.
Bronko: Spaceman warns earth!

D-d: Do you think flying saucers and aliens are real?
N: Yes.
B: No. [Nagurski and Bronko eyeball each other.]
D-d: Why do you say that?
N: Because there just might be some.
B: They're not real. [More eyeballing as a storm front develops.]

D-d: If UFOs landed everywhere tomorrow, what would you do?
N: I would say HI to them and then make them alien-humans, so they can live on earth with us.
B: I'd send a message to my birthday party. [Da-da and Nagurski look at Bronko, who blinks.]
D-d: What? What message?
B: I dunno. [Bronko's a little sick, so he's loopier than normal.]

D-d: What are UFOs, anyway?
N: Something unidentified. A UFO has all kinds of shapes.
B: It's just made of metal and dark and Gort made it.

D-d: What was your favorite part of the movie?
N: When Gort and the guy got out of jail. AND when Gort disintegrated things.
B: When he disintegrated and zaps those mean tanks that were not listening to the spaceman.

D-d: How did the movie make you feel?
N: [shrugs] Cool?
B: Unsafe. Because they might attack you.
D-d: Who might attack you?
B: The army. They're not nice.
D-d: What will you remember most about THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL?
N: The UFO part, when it lands.
B: Gort and his spaceship and his white light thing. Does it work on cheese sandwiches?
D-d: I'd imagine it would make quick work of a grilled cheese sandwich.
N: I like Giant Robot better, Da-da.
B: Yeah! Can we watch that next?

"Giant Robot... go get Brad Bird!"

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